FBI Racial Profiling

I am literally the last guy to play the race card. But in light of my recent dealings with Immigration, the USCIS and the Department of Homeland Security, I don't see that I have much of a choice. As my boy says, if it looks and smells like a rat, then it probably is one.

So my citizenship interview happened on February 28, 2006. I passed and was handed the bombshell (ironic choice of phrases, I know) that an FBI background check needed to be concluded before I was granted citizenship and that it could take months. If not years. I was assured that most cases didn't take that long and that, if I didn't hear anything within 60 days, I should contact the USCIS. I was also advised to contact both my senators (Schumer and Clinton) as well as my congresswoman (Carolyn Maloney of Queens).

60 days went by without so much as a postcard. So I sent letters to the politicians and filed a formal query with the USCIS. I also did an interview with the Daily News and sent the clippings to Clinton, Schumer and Maloney. The word from Immigration was that the query I filed would probably be responded to within 30 days and if I hadn't heard back by then, by all means call them back.

Today was 30 days. I called them up, spent an interminable period on hold and finally got through to a rep. What he told me was priceless:

"Sorry, sir, the policy has been changed since you called us. We can only enquire after your case 120 days after your interview.

Which is in 30 days. What do I do then?

"Call us back and we'll launch a formal enquiry."

Oh, a different one from the enquiry I filed 30 days ago?

"No, the same. [pause]. Just that then, we have the authority to file it.

So the one I filed earlier has been abandoned?

"No...it's still in place. We just can't hold the USCIS to it. They could ignore it or they could honor it...we don't have any control over either, since the new 120-day rule came into effect."

Well..what happens when I call you in 30 days, if I still haven't heard back? Is there a limit on how long it can take?

"I'm sorry, sir. The matter doesn't rest with the USCIS. It's the FBI. All we can do is ask the USCIS if they've heard anything from them. [pause]. 99% of people hear back within 6 months from the date of their interview, though. [pause]. It's a fairly involved background check they do..matching names to entry records at the airport, fingerprints, criminal background checks. If the names clear, it clears, but if the name is similar to other names, it takes longer to clear."

So if my name is more common than, say, John Williams or Catharine Bates or Sean Maloney, then it would take more time to clear.

"[pause]. It's luck really, It depends on what the system flags."

"So the fact that my name is Mohammed isn't holding things up."

"[Long pause. Fidgeting in the background. Another long pause.]"

I let him squirm for a while and then took my foot off the gas. He was just a pawn in a corrupt, hypocritical, incompetent, discriminating system. For all the lip service this government and this country pays to equality and anti-discrimination, the score was the same: Arabs are not to be trusted and the process by which they are judged cannot have any transparency to it, under the cloak of national security.

All I ask is that they provide me with a date for when my background check will be complete and that they hand me a final decision.

If it's a no, I can just pack my bags and be on my merry way.