The problem with England

Their biggest sin is that they were never interesting. On the field, they resemble robots, not humans. Their reserve and painful self-awareness, singularly British traits, work against them when their job is to dominate an opponent, just as it serves them so well in defeat. If I were English manager, I would spend the next four years teaching them about guile: from not transmitting your penalty kicks to how to make the other team look bad, in order to sap their morale.

Wayne Rooney will not get the David Beckham treatment following France '98. Becks was villified for getting sent off, but his biggest crime was that he wasn't a man of the people. The English public views Beckham with a curious mixture of mistrust and embarrassment, mostly due to his flamboyant off-field persona. Ironic, really, because the man is solid through and through, and his on-field displays are workman-like at best.

I know I'm displaying Monday Morning Quarterback tendencies by criticizing Sven, the day after they get knocked out, but please remember that I predicted an English loss in the quarters, so this is more of the same. To me, the biggest problem is that if you have two brilliant players in the same position (Gerard and Lampard), you still have to choose one. Picking them both only reduces both their impact. Also, play an inferior specialist in his natural position over a superior makeshift. Stewart Downing should have played over Joe Cole on the left. Finally, if you boast some of the best attacking talents in the world, don't play with one forward. As for Theo Walcott, if you're going to take a secret weapon with you to the World Cup, use him.

I'm not disappointed by England's exit. One, because I bet against them and two, because despite where my heart lies, I've seen them self-destruct before.