Rub-a-Dub-Tub Style

Dear GQ: A friend of mine invited my wife and me over for dinner, and then he said we could all get in the tub together. I'm worried that they're the free-and-easy type who are going to strip down and jump in. Is it okay for us to keep our suits on, or will we just look like total squares?

GQ Responds: I admit, I'm kind of suspicious of hot-tub people. My guess is that they'll be wearing their birthda suits and that they may also want to give both of you backrubs. If you want to get in the hot tub after dinner, then feel free to put on your bathing suits and hop in with them. Chances are, if they're naked, they'll tell you how much better it feels without the suit. You and your wife could work out some kind of code-I believe S&M people call it "the safe word," a word that means "Let's get the hell out of here." Sometimes, squareness is the better part of valor. My friend Richard Prince once did a painting called I Answered an Ad in a Swingers Magazine and My Parents Showed Up.