So I'm kind of in the midst of a brand new experience, you might be able to say. I'm with this girl who, for some Godforsaken reason, actually likes me and by like, I don't mean thinks I'm funny or wants to jump my sexy bones (yep, there are a couple of those blind masochists floating around) or anxious to put an exotic Egyptian on her dating resume. And if you think I'm splitting hairs, please bear in mind that funny people are funny even to those who don't like them, who you're physically attracted to is something beyond our control and as for exotic boyfriends for the dating resume, let's just say that my former cube-mate was on the phone with a friend of hers once, when she inadvertently blabbed to her that she's always wanted to date an ethnic guy "before I settle down", apparently neglecting that one such ethnic guy was approximately four feet from her and could hear everything.
No, this girls likes me in the fuller sense of the word: she thinks I'm funny but asks questions to make sure she understands the things that I say; she wants to sleep with me but she also wants to sleep with me (you know: Zzzzz) and wants to wake up and nap with me, as well. Plus, the fact that I'm Egyptian seems to baffle her immensely, not that she's ever said anything. At least, not with her mouth: she has this look which she gives me, whenever anything to do with my Egyptian-ness is ever raised. Sort of a wide doe-eyed look that says 'How can you be Egyptian if I get you and you get me so well?'. Bear in mind she's never left the US and doesn't even possess a passport. She's a sweet soul, but not a very well-travelled one.
And I do these things back to her. I think she's funny (albeit, inadvertently so), I want to jump her sexy bones (which hasn't precluded me from wanting to jump everybody else's sexy bones, as well), plus I think she's just a swell problems. Not that it's all satanism and willing virgins (that's good, in case you're wondering): she doesn't want to have kids and I still want to move to England.
The kids is a bit of a problem, not that they're high on my list at the moment. It's just that it would be nice to eventually have a little clone of me who burns through my money up to and including expensive therapy sessions where he or she ends up blaming it all on me. And the moving to England? Call that my practical side. I don't believe you should change your plans for anyone, especially if you're not certain they'd change their plans for you. It might be early in the game to expect someone to change their plans for me...but then it's also early to expect myself to do the same, no?
I'm scared of proximity and with this girl, things are no different. I'm essentially a loner, also known as a miserable, cynical bastard, but I'm also smart enough to know when something good is happening to me. And that's what she is: a good thing. I may not be ready to change my plans for her, but maybe I'm ready to change.