Monday, April 30, 2007


So I'm kind of in the midst of a brand new experience, you might be able to say. I'm with this girl who, for some Godforsaken reason, actually likes me and by like, I don't mean thinks I'm funny or wants to jump my sexy bones (yep, there are a couple of those blind masochists floating around) or anxious to put an exotic Egyptian on her dating resume. And if you think I'm splitting hairs, please bear in mind that funny people are funny even to those who don't like them, who you're physically attracted to is something beyond our control and as for exotic boyfriends for the dating resume, let's just say that my former cube-mate was on the phone with a friend of hers once, when she inadvertently blabbed to her that she's always wanted to date an ethnic guy "before I settle down", apparently neglecting that one such ethnic guy was approximately four feet from her and could hear everything.

No, this girls likes me in the fuller sense of the word: she thinks I'm funny but asks questions to make sure she understands the things that I say; she wants to sleep with me but she also wants to sleep with me (you know: Zzzzz) and wants to wake up and nap with me, as well. Plus, the fact that I'm Egyptian seems to baffle her immensely, not that she's ever said anything. At least, not with her mouth: she has this look which she gives me, whenever anything to do with my Egyptian-ness is ever raised. Sort of a wide doe-eyed look that says 'How can you be Egyptian if I get you and you get me so well?'. Bear in mind she's never left the US and doesn't even possess a passport. She's a sweet soul, but not a very well-travelled one.

And I do these things back to her. I think she's funny (albeit, inadvertently so), I want to jump her sexy bones (which hasn't precluded me from wanting to jump everybody else's sexy bones, as well), plus I think she's just a swell problems. Not that it's all satanism and willing virgins (that's good, in case you're wondering): she doesn't want to have kids and I still want to move to England.

The kids is a bit of a problem, not that they're high on my list at the moment. It's just that it would be nice to eventually have a little clone of me who burns through my money up to and including expensive therapy sessions where he or she ends up blaming it all on me. And the moving to England? Call that my practical side. I don't believe you should change your plans for anyone, especially if you're not certain they'd change their plans for you. It might be early in the game to expect someone to change their plans for me...but then it's also early to expect myself to do the same, no?

I'm scared of proximity and with this girl, things are no different. I'm essentially a loner, also known as a miserable, cynical bastard, but I'm also smart enough to know when something good is happening to me. And that's what she is: a good thing. I may not be ready to change my plans for her, but maybe I'm ready to change.


Anonymous NileGirl said...

I'm learning so much about the inner workings of the minds of men through blogging. I never knew that men were so deeply analytical about relationships. I knew that women do it all the time, but men too? You’re not the first blogger to open my eyes to that. I used to think that men just said to themselves, “she’s cute, let’s go with it and who cares where it ends up.” But this realization is both shocking to me and slightly warming.

Well, needless to say, I’m happy for you and I hope things work out for the best.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Basil Fawlty said...

I think it's a mistake to assume that, Nilegirl...that we're analytical. I am, but most guys aren't. In fact, I specialize in over-analysis, agonizing over decisions, past and present, for the longest time.

Moreover, I'm not like that when I'm with her (or anyone else); I tend to indulge myself on this blog, as a way of thinking things through. In person, I'm just as flighty, dumb-as-a-bag of rocks as the next guy. I think the moral of the story is that guys are capable of thought, just not always willing to apply it.

Thanks! I hope it works out too. But, nothing would surprise me either way.

2:02 PM  
Blogger Forsoothsayer said...

dude, you're super enormously American. you're as twangy as can be. i would look at u in mystification too, if i didn't know others of your ilk.

7:02 AM  
Blogger Basil Fawlty said...

What the hell does that mean? What does my accent have to do with any of this? I'm not getting this, Forsooth..

12:58 PM  
Blogger Forsoothsayer said...

i meant that YOU were twangy and american...ya3nee i don't see why anyone would notice overmuch that you were egyptian.

5:45 AM  
Blogger Basil Fawlty said...

Oh, I see. Maybe you're right. But I think I'm very Egyptian as well as very American-ized. To a native, it becomes clear that I have a different frame of reference. Also, I've never seen the Brady Bunch, so I believe that disqualifies me from being a complete American. For life.

3:51 PM  

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