Pussy Van lets Keane off

Roy Keane left Manchester United this week and the tributes have been rolling in. This is despite him being a complete psychopath.


It's a blatant example of corporate/ media spin designed, no doubt, to maintain share prices for Man. Uted PLC. One of the more egregious statements has come from Ruud Van Nistelrooy who, in the past, has been physically attacked by Keane for...straightening his hair before a television interview. Keane said to him: 'Straighten your hair, you poof. You should be scoring fucking goals and working...instead of fiddling with your fucking hair'.

This is what Van the "man" had to say, earlier today:


'It was a big shock,' said Van Nistelrooy.

He added: 'Roy will always be remembered as the greatest player who's played for the club.'

'His leadership and quality of play and his character will always be within us because I worked with him and trained with him for four and a half years, and he was the best player I ever played with, and it's just a shame it stops now.'

This is what Van the "Man" would have said, if he had any balls:


'It wasn't really a big surprise,' said Van Nistelrooy. 'Roy Keane has gone from being an inspiration to this football club to a cancer in the dressing room.'

He added: 'Roy always had a psychotic streak in him.'

'A lot of people put that down to hating to lose and having exceptionally high standards. But I think that's a slap in the face of all the other lads. He's not the only one with pride. I trained with him for four and a half years so I know what he's like. He's good at dishing out criticism but not so good at taking it. No one's really sorry he's gone. It's about time.'