Cultural Sensitivity or Stop asking me when I think it'd be safe to take the trains

It's always worded as a joke.

Geddit? Because I'm Middle-Eastern then I probably have a better insight on when it would be safer for the average New Yorker to take the subway. I think they ask because of any or all of the below:

1. Being Middle-Eastern, I might have some insight into the minds of my fellow Middle-Easterners who happen to be suicide bombers.
2. Or, I may actually know suicide bombers, even if it's on a purely social. non-participatory level. I'd then be privy to info not available to the average infidel.

Kind of like knowing a jockey and assuming he may have good tips about betting on the ponies: "Yes...of course...Seltzer Star at the 5:55 Belmont Stakes. She's a sure thing. Her mother's a slopper"

Of course, some people really are joking and I don't mind it when friends say it. But even friends are only partially joking. I mean, who really knows anyone else...I mean, reallly knows them? Any kind of behavior is suspicious when you think about it and what if Mo really is connected to the terrorists? I've had more than one person say to me, in a fit of drunken stupor, that they'd be upset if I turned out to be connected to terrorism, because I seem to be such a stand-up guy. Can you imagine? No wonder I'm uncomfortable here...people who trust me don't really know if they can trust me.

As for people I meet for the first time who bring it up, that does piss me off. I understand that people feel awkward and don't know what to say...I mean, what else would you talk to a Middle-Easterner about, right? It's not like Americans have a very local view of the world or anything...

So I'm going to do all of you a favour and share with you a system that might be as good as any. Or as bad. Plus, it may put this tired subject to rest...at least until the next drunken episode where you confide your deepest fears to me.

Muslims pray five times a day, especially the super observant ones. And you have to believe that the average suicide bomber who feels strongly enough about a cause to kill themselves for it wouldn't not pray, right? Now these times are posted in websites all over the world (they vary based on location and seasonality) so look them up. For your benefit, I've posted today's at the heading of this post. They should be good for another two weeks.

Now, prayers usually take about ten minutes. Presto, you've got five 10-minute windows a day for you cunning, calculating, I can-avoid-all-the-ills-of-the-world-if-I-have-access-to-the-right-info mothers to go by. I mean, hey, it's a system and it's no better or any worse than any other system, right? People have hit Vegas with less.

Of course, if the terrorists had any sense of poetic irony, they might choose to strike at prayer times. A sort of statement aimed at confounding us all. Then again, no system is perfect, right?

Now leave me alone.