Stumped on the N train

A very attractive girl was on the subway, this morning. She was sitting, I was standing against the doors, checking her out. She was tall, about 5 foot 8 (I usually prefer shorter women, around 5'3 or so, but I would have made an exception for her), full, very curvy figure, beautiful, curly brown hair, fresh, unblemished skin, sumptuous medium-sized, shapely breasts and a highly-sensual butterfly tattoo on the top of her right foot, just behind her toes, which were tastefully adorned with a set of simple, silver toe rings. She was holding a Treo and intently sending text messages, but she did look up at me a couple of times and we exchanged a brief smile.

Then, after at least five minutes of first spotting her, I saw it.

There was a stump, where her right hand should have been. It wasn't bandaged or covered, just smooth, white skin forming a perfect cover. It had been unobscured the whole time and yet, despite me eyeing her top to bottom for the better part of five minutes, I'd totally missed it. How is this possible? Could it be that I'm as shallow as anybody else? I mean, if this woman had committed a crime, I could have described her to a police sketch artist and they would have picked her up in ten minutes. Then the cop would have turned to me and said "You told us she was a 34C but it would have been nice to get a heads-up about the amputated arm". I just couldn't believe that I didn't see it sooner.

You know the old joke about guys not looking women in the eye, because they're too busy checking out their breasts? Well, I was the shameful protagonist the exact same situation, except it was far, far more shallow and, by extension, more comical.

I know what you're thinking (aside from 'What a douchebag!'): would I still go out with her? The answer is yes:

1. She's hot.
2. She can still use her other hand.
3. How cool it would be to be seen with a woman with a stump?
4. If she had a hook extension, like a pirate, even better.
5. I heard (and this is no joke), that there are extensions which you can fit with things like knives, paint brushes, botter openers and the like. I swear I'm not kidding.
6. In the heat of the moment, I'd put the stump in my mouth.
7. I am very much a sick bastard. Honest, but sick.