Are you reading this, Forsooth?
"The women's movement needed to address the abuses of power. Nobody would ever challenge that. But in the course of doing that, it had some unanticipated consequences, including attempting to neutralize power in places where power is intrinsic. Such as in desire. An element of aggression or hostility is often part of erotic desire. It's not just joy and contentment. There is another side to desire and it's that that we have become uncomfortable with feeling and expressing. The whole point of fantasy is that it's not meant to be reality. We can experience these feelings very comfortably and playfully with a partner, without fearing, What does it say about me?"
Esther Perel said that in the article Mating in Captivity and I couldn't agree with her more. It also touches on the crux of a philosophical argument I had with Forsooth (all our arguments are philosophical; we've never met. Or, in other words, if a tree falls in the woods...) regarding what is acceptable in the sexual realm. To sum it up (for the umpteenth time), I feel anything goes in a sexual encounter between two consenting adults, while Forsooth is against certain things she perceives to be degrading, such as dirty talking (where the woman is specifically called a pejorative term).
Anyways, this woman made her point very well and it strikes at the heart of everything that I believe about commitment and marriage and carnal relations. Or, how I'm-not-really-a-commitment-phobe-it's-the-world-that's-fucked-up.