Stingray leaps into boat, stabs man in chest
Five possible reasons for this freakish accident:
1. It's a retaliation against the people who killed Stingrays to avenge Steve Irwin's death. Next time, they won't miss.
2. These stingrays are insurgents trying to protect their homeland against the human invading forces (in effect, this was a suicide stingray operation). A video showing the horrific stinging of two other hostages is rumored to be available on the Internet.
3. It's the same stingray which killed Irwin. It's a serial killer stingray.
4. This was a "hit", making this particular stingray, a "contract" stingray. We need to infiltrate their ranks to figure out what's going on. This requires us to conduct a....sting operation (bad-am-bosh!)
5. This was a setup. The sting in that guy's chest was a plant, orchestrated by the government so that George W. has the excuse he needs to invade Coralreefistan. Expect the war rhetoric to go up, in the next few days, as FOX NEWS covers this story 24/7.
MIAMI, Florida (Reuters) -- A leaping stingray stabbed an 81-year-old Florida boater in the chest, authorities said Wednesday, leaving its poisonous stinger lodged close to his heart in an incident recalling the one that killed Australian TV naturalist Steve Irwin last month.
Fire Department officials in Lighthouse Point, about 30 miles north of Miami, said James Bertakis was in a small recreational boat with two grandchildren Tuesday when the spotted eagle ray leaped aboard and struck him.
"It's just a real freak thing," Lt. Mike Sullivan told Reuters, saying the incident occurred on Florida's Intracoastal Waterway, where stingrays are rarely seen leaping in the air.
"For an 81-year-old man he's in really good shape," Sullivan added, saying Bertakis was expected to make a full recovery after surgery at a local hospital to have the stinger removed from his chest.
"Crocodile Hunter" Irwin, 44, died when a stingray's stinger punctured his heart off Australia's north coast last month. It was one of only a handful of stingray fatalities on record.
1. It's a retaliation against the people who killed Stingrays to avenge Steve Irwin's death. Next time, they won't miss.
2. These stingrays are insurgents trying to protect their homeland against the human invading forces (in effect, this was a suicide stingray operation). A video showing the horrific stinging of two other hostages is rumored to be available on the Internet.
3. It's the same stingray which killed Irwin. It's a serial killer stingray.
4. This was a "hit", making this particular stingray, a "contract" stingray. We need to infiltrate their ranks to figure out what's going on. This requires us to conduct a....sting operation (bad-am-bosh!)
5. This was a setup. The sting in that guy's chest was a plant, orchestrated by the government so that George W. has the excuse he needs to invade Coralreefistan. Expect the war rhetoric to go up, in the next few days, as FOX NEWS covers this story 24/7.
MIAMI, Florida (Reuters) -- A leaping stingray stabbed an 81-year-old Florida boater in the chest, authorities said Wednesday, leaving its poisonous stinger lodged close to his heart in an incident recalling the one that killed Australian TV naturalist Steve Irwin last month.
Fire Department officials in Lighthouse Point, about 30 miles north of Miami, said James Bertakis was in a small recreational boat with two grandchildren Tuesday when the spotted eagle ray leaped aboard and struck him.
"It's just a real freak thing," Lt. Mike Sullivan told Reuters, saying the incident occurred on Florida's Intracoastal Waterway, where stingrays are rarely seen leaping in the air.
"For an 81-year-old man he's in really good shape," Sullivan added, saying Bertakis was expected to make a full recovery after surgery at a local hospital to have the stinger removed from his chest.
"Crocodile Hunter" Irwin, 44, died when a stingray's stinger punctured his heart off Australia's north coast last month. It was one of only a handful of stingray fatalities on record.
posted by Basil Epicurus at 10:05 AM
1 Comments:
Basilefish
I really enjoyed what you wrote, witty & funny.
& may it be a warning against those who think stingrays are harmless, their name says it all. either you are with us or with the stingrays!
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