'Rafa, No Me Jodas'
I love the plotlines in Spanish Football...it's like a Mexican soap opera mixed with brilliant football.
Barça battle to victory as Rafa rides again
by Sid Lowe
He's back! The greatest linesman in the whole wide world ever has done it again. Rafa Guerrero, the 41-year-old from Leon with the sad face and a bubble-perm straight out of Panini '84, was the star of week 10. Which is pretty good going for a humble linesman, especially when Ruud van Nistelrooy scored four, Ronaldinho hit a belter and Capi got a brilliant last-minute winner to keep Betis boss Jabo Irureta in a job; when little Getafe climbed to fifth, Racing stopped Sevilla scoring for the first time this season, and Fernando Torres managed to win a penalty that actually was a penalty and not a vicious assault from a particularly mean-looking clump of turf.
But then Rafa is, as one columnist put it, the Rafa-iest Rafa of all Rafas, the Phantom of the Opera, Brutus stabbing Caesar with a whistle, Spain's favourite figure of fun. Because there's nothing like a bit of controversy - and controversy and Rafa Guerrero go back a long, long way.
It all started in September 1996 during a match between Real Zaragoza and Barcelona at the Romareda when Guerrero spotted something in the Zaragoza penalty area. Raising his flag, he called over the referee Quique Mejuto González and demanded a penalty and a red card for the No6, Xavi Aguado, for an 'aggression' on big-boned Barça defender Fernando Couto. So far, so good. Only there was a problem. In fact, there were two problems: the man who had clashed with Couto (in so far as anyone had) was not Aguado but Solana and the only thing worse than getting it wrong is getting caught. And, like the fellow linesman later filmed telling one whinging winger to "go and take it up the arse", boy did Rafa get caught.
You see, that was the day that Canal Plus were trying out some new touchline microphones and one of their cameramen was lurking nearby, so the whole sorry saga got caught on television, broadcast on the sadly missed El Día Después. The footage, an extraordinary conversation between referee and linesman, became legendary in Spain - and changed Rafa's life forever.
As Mejuto raced over, a pack of wide-eyed, rabidly salivating players trailing in his wake, Guerrero, like Wizbit, was short and to the point: "Penalti y expulsion - penalty and red card." Mejuto, who hadn't seen anything, was unconvinced and all too aware that, although he had to follow his linesman's instructions, he was wading into controversy. "Fu*k, Rafa! I shit on my mother!" the exasperated ref shouted above the din. "Red card? Red card for who?" "No6" "No6? Are you sure? Rafa, no me jodas - Rafa, don't f*ck with me."
Unfortunately, Rafa was indeed jodering with him: Aguado unfairly got his marching orders, the phrase stuck in the public conscience and nothing has been the same since. Aguado forgave Guerrero - indeed, they became friends - but others most certainly have not. No one cared that Rafa has adopted children from Algeria and Peru, sends football kit to Africa and has set up an institution that looks after chronically ill children. Death threats followed, a police escort was needed, microphones were hidden in his house and, like Lady Macbeth, he just couldn't wash away the stain: poor Rafa Guerrero has been universally known as Rafa, No Me Jodas ever since, the most famous linesman in Spain. So famous, in fact, that he even bagged himself an advert for Renault (the €2,500 fee from which he gave to charity), in which a transit van dumps him in the middle of nowhere, flag in hand, bewildered look on his face "so that he can't ruin the week's best plays".
But Rafa hasn't always ruined matches. Sometimes, he has made them. And last night was one of those times. It was the first time Guerrero had run the line for Barcelona and Zaragoza since that September day 10 years ago - and he marked his return in classic style. It was 1-1 with 73 minutes gone at the Camp Nou and the match was drifting towards a flat ending when Thiago Motta ran after the ball, chased by Diego Milito. Suddenly, Milito hit the floor clutching his face, shouting "Argh!" so loudly you could hear him from the third tier. Replays showed that if Motta did catch Milito, it was nowhere near his face. One man, though, saw it all. Or thought he did.
That man, inevitably, was Rafa, No Me Jodas. And as soon as he started flagging, everyone in the Camp Nou was thinking the same thing. Including the referee Eduardo Iturralde González, whose face as he ran across said it all: Rafa, please, No Me Jodas. Oh dear. No penalti this time but there was an expulsión and all hell broke loose. As Felip Vivanco put it in La Vanguardia, Rafa had managed to turn a mere border skirmish into an all-out war. Motta, not without reason, went mental and virtually the entire Barça bench piled on to the pitch, with Johan Neeskens grabbing Zaragoza's Juanfran by the neck, Ronaldinho doing his nut, and Frank Rijkaard covering his face with his hands like an infant trying to turn invisible.
Suddenly the atmosphere changed, the attitude changed and the game changed. "For Barcelona, Rafa Don't F*ck With Me tried to become Rafa Will F*ck Us but fortunately became Even Rafa Won't Fu*k Us," wrote El País's Sergi Palmés. In fact, it wasn't just that Rafa failed to screw Barcelona, he actually helped them - and not only because he handily got rid of Motta but because the decision galvanised Barça.
When the match finally restarted, four minutes later, Gabi Milito was immediately sent off for pulling down Javier Saviola as he scurried through and, having pushed Zaragoza back, Barça went 2-1 up with a screaming free-kick from Ronaldinho, which he celebrated by sprinting across the pitch and jumping all over Rijkaard with his team-mates pilling in like they had won the World Cup. The Brazilian then hit another belter that crashed into the underside of the bar and bounced out for Saviola to score. "We were driven on by the feeling of injustice," admitted Rijkaard, while Zaragoza midfielder Zapater added: "All the fuss ruined our chances." It also turned an average game into a beauty. Rafa, No Me Jodas rides again.
Barça battle to victory as Rafa rides again
by Sid Lowe
He's back! The greatest linesman in the whole wide world ever has done it again. Rafa Guerrero, the 41-year-old from Leon with the sad face and a bubble-perm straight out of Panini '84, was the star of week 10. Which is pretty good going for a humble linesman, especially when Ruud van Nistelrooy scored four, Ronaldinho hit a belter and Capi got a brilliant last-minute winner to keep Betis boss Jabo Irureta in a job; when little Getafe climbed to fifth, Racing stopped Sevilla scoring for the first time this season, and Fernando Torres managed to win a penalty that actually was a penalty and not a vicious assault from a particularly mean-looking clump of turf.
But then Rafa is, as one columnist put it, the Rafa-iest Rafa of all Rafas, the Phantom of the Opera, Brutus stabbing Caesar with a whistle, Spain's favourite figure of fun. Because there's nothing like a bit of controversy - and controversy and Rafa Guerrero go back a long, long way.
It all started in September 1996 during a match between Real Zaragoza and Barcelona at the Romareda when Guerrero spotted something in the Zaragoza penalty area. Raising his flag, he called over the referee Quique Mejuto González and demanded a penalty and a red card for the No6, Xavi Aguado, for an 'aggression' on big-boned Barça defender Fernando Couto. So far, so good. Only there was a problem. In fact, there were two problems: the man who had clashed with Couto (in so far as anyone had) was not Aguado but Solana and the only thing worse than getting it wrong is getting caught. And, like the fellow linesman later filmed telling one whinging winger to "go and take it up the arse", boy did Rafa get caught.
You see, that was the day that Canal Plus were trying out some new touchline microphones and one of their cameramen was lurking nearby, so the whole sorry saga got caught on television, broadcast on the sadly missed El Día Después. The footage, an extraordinary conversation between referee and linesman, became legendary in Spain - and changed Rafa's life forever.
As Mejuto raced over, a pack of wide-eyed, rabidly salivating players trailing in his wake, Guerrero, like Wizbit, was short and to the point: "Penalti y expulsion - penalty and red card." Mejuto, who hadn't seen anything, was unconvinced and all too aware that, although he had to follow his linesman's instructions, he was wading into controversy. "Fu*k, Rafa! I shit on my mother!" the exasperated ref shouted above the din. "Red card? Red card for who?" "No6" "No6? Are you sure? Rafa, no me jodas - Rafa, don't f*ck with me."
Unfortunately, Rafa was indeed jodering with him: Aguado unfairly got his marching orders, the phrase stuck in the public conscience and nothing has been the same since. Aguado forgave Guerrero - indeed, they became friends - but others most certainly have not. No one cared that Rafa has adopted children from Algeria and Peru, sends football kit to Africa and has set up an institution that looks after chronically ill children. Death threats followed, a police escort was needed, microphones were hidden in his house and, like Lady Macbeth, he just couldn't wash away the stain: poor Rafa Guerrero has been universally known as Rafa, No Me Jodas ever since, the most famous linesman in Spain. So famous, in fact, that he even bagged himself an advert for Renault (the €2,500 fee from which he gave to charity), in which a transit van dumps him in the middle of nowhere, flag in hand, bewildered look on his face "so that he can't ruin the week's best plays".
But Rafa hasn't always ruined matches. Sometimes, he has made them. And last night was one of those times. It was the first time Guerrero had run the line for Barcelona and Zaragoza since that September day 10 years ago - and he marked his return in classic style. It was 1-1 with 73 minutes gone at the Camp Nou and the match was drifting towards a flat ending when Thiago Motta ran after the ball, chased by Diego Milito. Suddenly, Milito hit the floor clutching his face, shouting "Argh!" so loudly you could hear him from the third tier. Replays showed that if Motta did catch Milito, it was nowhere near his face. One man, though, saw it all. Or thought he did.
That man, inevitably, was Rafa, No Me Jodas. And as soon as he started flagging, everyone in the Camp Nou was thinking the same thing. Including the referee Eduardo Iturralde González, whose face as he ran across said it all: Rafa, please, No Me Jodas. Oh dear. No penalti this time but there was an expulsión and all hell broke loose. As Felip Vivanco put it in La Vanguardia, Rafa had managed to turn a mere border skirmish into an all-out war. Motta, not without reason, went mental and virtually the entire Barça bench piled on to the pitch, with Johan Neeskens grabbing Zaragoza's Juanfran by the neck, Ronaldinho doing his nut, and Frank Rijkaard covering his face with his hands like an infant trying to turn invisible.
Suddenly the atmosphere changed, the attitude changed and the game changed. "For Barcelona, Rafa Don't F*ck With Me tried to become Rafa Will F*ck Us but fortunately became Even Rafa Won't Fu*k Us," wrote El País's Sergi Palmés. In fact, it wasn't just that Rafa failed to screw Barcelona, he actually helped them - and not only because he handily got rid of Motta but because the decision galvanised Barça.
When the match finally restarted, four minutes later, Gabi Milito was immediately sent off for pulling down Javier Saviola as he scurried through and, having pushed Zaragoza back, Barça went 2-1 up with a screaming free-kick from Ronaldinho, which he celebrated by sprinting across the pitch and jumping all over Rijkaard with his team-mates pilling in like they had won the World Cup. The Brazilian then hit another belter that crashed into the underside of the bar and bounced out for Saviola to score. "We were driven on by the feeling of injustice," admitted Rijkaard, while Zaragoza midfielder Zapater added: "All the fuss ruined our chances." It also turned an average game into a beauty. Rafa, No Me Jodas rides again.
posted by Basil Epicurus at 10:16 AM
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