It bothers me when I can't figure out people's damage. It's because I firmly believe everyone has some and, while I know it's a very cynical outlook, I don't feel comfortable until I get an inkling of what it is.
What I do with it then, is sort of empathize with it. It allows me to relax about my own shortcomings. And while it's true that a certain amount of knowledge about someone lends you power over them, I'm not the type to overtly exploit that.
I have enough problems keeping my own life on track, without looking at everyone else's. I really believe that life is a series of one-person races. I know competition exists, but I largely eschew it's principles. In fact, I hate it. I don't like to get beaten by someone (at anything) and I don't like beating people (at anything). I enjoy the game, the interaction, the camaraderie, the battle of brawn and wits...but not the victory or underlying gloating. I really, really hate.
I don't know why I'm writing about all this. My original point was that nobody has their shit together, especially me. That said, I need to do a better job of directing my life towards a more productive place. I'm simply not a kid anymore.
And guess what? I hate that too.