Friday, July 13, 2007

Adventures in Eavesdropping

Salon's community, Table Talk, share their best recent sound bites.

Aspidistra - 11:45 am Pacific Time - Jun 15, 2007 - #2405 of 2450
From a waif of an approximately 4-year-old girl, showing a small green cherry tomato to a little boy:

"Want to meet my tomato? Her name is Tammy."

somniloquy - 11:33 am Pacific Time - Jun 19, 2007 - #2414 of 2450
Overheard in Hollywood on Saturday, in a shoe store, spoken by a tired and harried wife with an American accent, to her burly, scary Eastern European/Russian husband:

"I mean, you've been in so many prisons, you might as well try a U.S. prison."

ACMcKinney - 08:27 pm Pacific Time - Jun 19, 2007 - #2415 of 2450
On the train: Mid-thirties male on cellphone, in accented but very well-polished English:

"She has a bunny. (pause) A bunny: she has a bunny. (longer pause) No, I don't know what it means."

Vinca Minor - 11:28 pm Pacific Time - Jul 2, 2007 - #2432 of 2450
From the young and no better than she should be woman upstairs, smoking out the window and throwing the butts on her downstairs neighbor's patio:

"I'm so hurt she called me a ho! I'm not a ho! I have morals! I KNOW I do. It's so important to me to have morals. I mean, I must have morals! I think about having morals at least once a week."

Heidi Lynn - 09:56 am Pacific Time - Jul 3, 2007 - #2435 of 2450
All from the same group of people at a nearby table while I was having lunch:

"There's a lemon on the table and it isn't mine. Now I'm being labeled a lemon-leaver and I'm not comfortable with that."

"She had a psychic come in and evaluate her furniture." "Yeah, she had a credenza that had issues."

"She cooks for her dogs and eats what's left." [The third-pary "she" responds with tonight's menu:] "Veal chops, organic asparagus, organic French vanilla ice cream, and mashed potatoes. If I'm lucky, there's enough for lunch the next day."

"We finally figured it out. She was running spell-check, but she was adding all the misspelled words to her custom dictionary instead of correcting them. She's got eight thousand misspelled words in there, and she won't listen to anybody who tells her that's the problem."

Contra Diction - 06:57 pm Pacific Time - Jul 11, 2007 - #2444 of 2450
Tragically hip young man on cellphone:

"I don't see why Bowie wouldn't write a few tracks."

Raspberry - 10:16 am Pacific Time - Jul 12, 2007 - #2446 of 2450
Tanned made-up young woman in mid-20s with similar friend, to clerk in CVS:

"No, that won't work. This is for a WEDDING PRESENT."

AmyC - 03:51 pm Pacific Time - Jun 15, 2007 - #2406 of 2450
Older bum to younger bum near the Metra tracks:

"You asked a beautiful woman for change, man? Shiiiit.

Red Kelly - 03:43 am Pacific Time - Jun 19, 2007 - #2410 of 2450
Old lady, sternly, to small terrier straining at the leash:

"You are not the only kettle on the beach, you know!"


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