Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The World's Weirdest/Stupidest Conspiracy Theories

The World's Weirdest/Stupidest Conspiracy Theories

(in no particular order, with each theory's author or main proponent in parentheses)

The driver shot JFK. (the late William Cooper)
The Beatles were designed and sent to the U.S. by the British Psychological Warfare Division, to undermine the morals of American teenagers. (Lyndon LaRouche)
Christ's Crucifixion was staged. (Hugh Schonfield) Christ eloped with Mary Magdalene, and one or both of them fled to France to raise their family. (Baigent/Leigh/Lincoln)
Christ and his disciples were a magic-mushroom cult. (Dead Sea Scrolls scholar John Allegro)
HIV/AIDS was created in a lab.
HIV does not cause AIDS.
Man never landed on the moon. It's not even possible. But there is an alien base there. (see Wikipedia; for an artful and very funny parody of how these theories can be patched together from unrelated material, watch the mockumentary Dark Side of the Moon)
The Zapruder film is entirely fake, even though it contradicts the findings of the Warren Commission. (Jim Fetzer)
Stephen King killed John Lennon. (Steve Lightfoot)
WWII was staged. It never really happened. The Illuminati employed elaborate special effects, stage magic, and phony journalism to scare the world into pacifism. (Donald Holmes)
Queen Elizabeth I was a man. The real Elizabeth died as a child.
George H.W. Bush was really George Scherff Sr., a Nazi sent to destroy America as a teenager and adopted by Prescott Bush (Scherff was also an assistant to Nikola Tesla, and stole all Tesla's inventions after he was murdered by Otto Skorzeny and Reinhard Gehlen). Hitler was still alive in Montana in 1997, and Josef Mengele is keeping himself alive and youthful with a regimen of hormones and cannibalism. Oh, and Curious George was inspired by a young George Scherff Jr.; that's probably why Alan J. Shalleck was murdered by two men he met through a gay sex network one day before the movie premiered. (this information comes from a man named Eric Berman, who claims he heard it straight from his girlfriend's dad, Otto Skorzeny, in Florida during the late '90s. Skorzeny died in Madrid in 1975.)
One promoter of the Scherff-Bush story adds that Josef Mengele was the real Zodiac, the Boston Strangler(s), and the anthrax letter mailer. (
The 1939 War of the Worlds radio broadcoast was a psychological warfare study funded by C.D. Jackson on behalf of the Rockefeller Foundation, designed to find out how Americans would react to an enemy invasion. Funny... in a trailer for his mockumentary F is for Fake, Orson Welles did say the WoW broadcast had "secret sponsors". (Daniel Hopsicker)
A really old one that just won't die: Jews drink the blood and eat the flesh of Gentile children during Passover. Some Catholics still revere the relics of Medieval child saints supposedly slaughtered and devoured by Jews.
The doomed Franklin Expedition was sent to the Arctic not only to find the Northwest Passage, but to secretly investigate UFO sightings that had been reported since the 1700s. The men were captured, experimented upon, and eaten by giant aliens. (Jeffrey Blair Latta)
Hitler and some associates escaped to the Arctic in a submarine, to live with super-advanced aliens who reside within the hollow earth. (This story originated with Edward Bulwer-Lytton's novel The Coming Race, was treated as fact by the pre-Nazi Vril Society, was bolstered by the forged "secret diary" of Admiral Byrd, and was adopted by the likes of Ernst Zundel)
Denver International Airport was built expressly to conceal a vast underground complex, headquarters of the New World Order elite. Clues are hidden in the airport's peace-themed mural.
Scientology: Billions of years ago the intergalactic overlord Xenu used a film to brainwash our souls ("Thetans") into believing in the world's major religions, which he invented.
Gnosticism: The entire material world is an evil trap created by the imposter God of the Bible.
Nation of Islam: White people were created in a lab.
Jesuits sank the Titanic to kill some of the world's richest, most powerful Jews.
The early Middle Ages (614-911 A.D.) never occurred. Everything that supposedly happened during those years was either a misunderstanding, an event from a different era, or an outright lie - Charlemagne, for instance, is a fictional figure. And we are actually living in the 1700s. (Herbert Illig's phantom time hypothesis)
Shortly before he left office, Bill Clinton secretly signed into law the National Economic Security and Reformation Act (NESARA). This act would have completely restructured the U.S. government by - among other things - forgiving all personal credit card debt and mortgages, abolishing the IRS, restoring constitutional law, and somehow ensuring world peace - but the Supreme Court placed a gag order on it, and threatened death to any government official who breathed word of its existence. NESARA activists around the world are agitating to get the act announced and instituted.
Aspartame, flouride, genetically modified foods, and vaccines are used specifically to keep us sick and open to suggestion, and/or as part of a secret depopulation plan designed by the world's elite.
Atlanta child murder theories: Victims were used for CDC research into Interferon; KKK Klansmen posed as cops to wipe out young black men (Dick Gregory); white scientists needed the boys' foreskins to produce a cure for cancer and/or a youth serum. (Dick Gregory again)
Jeffrey Dahmer was an actor hired by the Ambrosia Chocolate company to pose as a cannibal killer so no one would object to the factory being torn down and another one built with illegal tax breaks (posted by "manoftruth" on online forums devoted to Rush and Bon Jovi, along with rants on Wicca and Jews; his name might be Mark Zahn, but who knows?).
And here's a fun one: By combining two separate conspiracy theories, you can turn Hitler into Jack the Ripper!

Theory #1: Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence, faked his death to move to Germany and become Adolph Hitler.
Theory #2: Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence (and/or Freemasons acting on his behalf) was Jack the Ripper.
Hence, Prince Eddy might have killed several prostitues, faked his own death, then resurfaced in Austria as Hitler.


Anonymous Honesty said...

You forgot one: The far-fetched, provably false conspiracy theory of "nineteen hijackers with boxcutters" who couldn't fly even SMALL propellor planes worth a damn but whom some stupid people have no problem believing they could fly Boeing 757s and -767 like experts, who somehow (how?) made the U.S. Air Force, the most high-tech air force in the world, sit on its hands while the "hijacked airliners" made their way to their targets (the only "airliner" that there has been photos of shows two prominent remote control antennae on its underside), yet there were no wings or tail section and no fuselage found at the Pentagon or the Shanksville crater.

Nevermind the fact that anybody trying to kamikaze the Pentagon would aim for the roof, instead of taking the extremely difficult route of pulling high-G force turns and zooming in a few feet above ground level. And nevermind the fact that the Pentagon was struck in:
1.the part of the building that was farthest from Rumsfeld;
2.the one part that had been recently structurally reinforced to better prevent a fire there from spreading elsewhere in the building;
3.the one wedge of the building that was under renovation at the time, meaning MUCH less military personnel were present.

Or that the N.I.S.T. and 9/11 whitewash Commission both admitted that the Twin Towers "collapsed" at freefall rate in air, nevermind the fact that the only way that's possible in the real world is with controlled demolitions; consider that freefall rate "collapses" means that everything under the falling uppermost floors, all that steel and concrete etc., gave no more resistance than AIR.

Or the fact that Bush's Secret Service let him remain in Booker Elementary school for over a half hour after being told "America is under attack", nevermind that by not immediately hustling Bush out of the building to a safer location they are acknowledging that they KNEW that Bush was not even a POSSIBLE target, something that, were the official government story of 9/11 true, they could not have possibly been able to assume.

Or any of the other bits of evidence proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that 9/11 was an inside job done by elements within the U.S. government to provide a pretext for their wars for oil & natural gas resource dominance that is quite unconvincingly portrayed in mainstream media as a "War on Terror".

So you forgot one glaring, ridiculous, laughably false conspiracy theory, the theory of the "nineteen hijackers with boxcutters".

6:40 PM  
Blogger warlord2080 said...

The person on the top has no clue what a conspiracy theory really means. Although he/she lacks the notion of what the commission and NIST actually said. typical kookspirtard.

7:00 PM  

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