Mo's Angels

So the answer to my earlier question is about to be revealed. Chick A, chick B or chick C? Was this one ever really in doubt??

Scroll down for the answer....


























The answer is...






















None of the above. Sorry.

And it's not even their faults. I'm just no good at this stuff. This relationship business. Like the man said "I'm into havin' sex I ain't inta makin' love" but it's so much MORE than that. I hate compromising and sharing and talking about important things. I'm not a good catch and I won't make anyone happy for longer than three weeks. Which is about the average length of my relationships. Which is my friendships are more successful...though not that much more successful.

I'm a loner and we don't make good companions. What's worse is I'm a very agreeable, sociable loner with wit and humanity and compassion, which hinders people's ability to accept me as a loner. But I feel bad for girls who have to date me because I secretly always feel things are never going to go anywhere. And not even because I don't want it to. I just feel contained by relatonships, like I have a weight on my shoulders.

What's worse is my attraction wanes as I get to know a girl. It's like her humanity is a turn-on for me on a mental level but a turn-off for me on a sexual level. When the familiarity sets in, everything else goes south. I just can't sustain an interest.

Which actually explains why I never have sexual feelings toward friends. I'm aware if a female friend of mine is sexy and can communicate said hotness to male friends with requisite passion ("Dude, she is so friggin' hot...UUUMMPPHH!") but it's like knowing them and liking them makes me puzzled by the desire to feel anything sexual towards them.

So, am I fated to either a loveless marriage or an emotionless series of one/ two/ three night stands? It's possible and I need to consider what either kind of future would entail. I remember I once put an ad up on Craig's List titled:

SEEKING GIRL WITH LOW SEX DRIVE

My reasoning was if I could get to know her as a person and have long intervals between sex, maybe some kind of midde ground could be established. I got a girl who was very sweet but simply not interested in sex. She actually got a bored look in her eyes when we had sex and smiled at me when we made eye contact during! My bad, I know. What did I expect when I asked for a girl with a low sex drive?

Please don't write in and say 'Oh, you haven't met the one for you' or 'Oh, you need to give things longer than a month'. I've tried and this is coming to you after all kinds of adjustments and optimistic forays into new dating scenarios and endless re-entries into the dating world (what can I tell you, I give up dating, I get lonely then I get horny so I plunge back in).

I've slept with 27 women (I can remember their faces...but not all their names) which, I guess, is a fair number considering I live in a democracy and this is 2006 and I'd say that's enough to identify a trend. I should really warn the women I meet from now on. Or, just hire hookers and talk to them.

Last winter, I took a trip to England to meet this girl I wanted to marry. Now, some of you know my policy: if she lives too far away from my place in Astoria, it ain't happenin'. So the fact that I crossed and ocean (and then took the tube!) to meet someone is a big deal. What's even more amazing is that I was there to see her again (I'd met her years before) once before proposing marriage. What's even more amazing than that is that she's veiled (you know, Islamic veil, which considering the kind of Muslim I am, is a bit of a joke). What's even more amazing...ok, maybe this one isn't too amazing:

She turned me down flat. Her reason was that I drank and she couldn't be with someone who wasn't a practising Muslim.

Fair enough, I mean, she knows what she wants at least and I can take being turned down in the same way I'd like a bone to be broken: if it has to happen, make it fast and make it clean. But the reason I sook (past tense of seek. Forsooth, put the grammar book down) her out was I figured we wanted the same things at our age: we were both 34, both looking to settle down and start a family and both highly practical people (or so I thought). I figured if I fulfilled my role as a husband and a breadwinner, I wouldn't have to fulfill someone's fantasy as a worship-the-ground-you-walk-on, smitten, prince charming on a white rocking horse (or something). It was a copout but it suited me.

She copped out for different reasons but it made me realise the difficulty of being with someone when there's no love to keep you together, you know? It's the glue that binds and you absolutely need it to make that lifelong commitment. Trying to bypass that step only made me realise that if I got into it easy like that, it'd be just as easy to get out of it.

And that's not right.

But it's just the way I am and while people always tell you to be yourself about things which the world is ready to deal with, inability to be monogamous isn't one that's been fully embraced yet. And when it is, it always comes in the sleazy outer garments of wife swappers or keychain parties. There are other lifestyles where you can make connections without the commitment. Check out Une Affair Pornographique.

And no, I'm not seriously basing my whole future course of action based on a rather mediocre French movie.

Look, there may be something wrong with my wiring (ok, no maybes about it) but I can't feel bad about that too. I mean, there are worse things I could have had happen to me, that didn't and for that I'm very grateful. All I have to do is make sure I make a ton of cash. You know, to keep all those one-night stands and roadtrip mistresses happy with expensive jewellery.