Beholden

Per the Oxford English Dictionary: Beholden \bih-HOHL-duhn\, adjective: Obliged; bound in gratitude; indebted.

I've spent my entire life trying not to be beholden to anyone. It lies at the root of my restlessness, my wariness of commitment and my desire to be truly free. This may have been a mistake, as I have come to realise that my needs for connection and my desire for total autonomy are mutually exclusive. It's a simple truth that only a moron could have missed. On the other hand, other people who don't have an obsession for that level of autonomy were never bound to try and make them co-exist. That's my personal challenge and either path I choose will require a degree of compromise and self-sacrifice. Two things I'm not very good at, at least without generating resentment.

I'm not complicated. My truth is simple but it is of a most singular nature (Singular \sin-GYOO-lehr\, adjective: strange by virtue of being remarkable, distinctive or unusual).