Sunday, October 29, 2006

Stand up if you're funny (Part 1)

I may have mentioned this (and I'm too tired to go through my blog) but I've been dating a stand-up comedian. Up until this point, it's been strangely exhilirating on all fronts, from shared interests, conversation, intellectual stimulation and physical attraction, except for one unexpected area. The comedy has been a little lacking. Allow me to explain.

If I were dating a porn star, it wouldn't be unreasonable for me to expect my short-term future with this porn star to include a vast array of carnal delights. I'd expect sex acts and positions so perverse that most civilians wouldn't have names for them, and neither would most gymnasts. Sex acts so far removed from the mainstream, only other porn stars (and maybe some clergy) would recognize them and know what to do. It's just the expectation and you can see where it would come from.

Similarly, seeing as how I'm dating a comedian, it's not unreasonable for me to expect to laugh until I bust a gut.

But that hasn't really been the case, up to this point and I don't mean her show. Her show IS funny, but it's funny in that poignant, confessional, I-lost-80-pounds-and-endured-lots-of-horrible-shit-from-people kind of way. It's not going to make me gasp for air and I noted that women in the audience loved it while men smiled and allowed themselves the occasional chuckle. My problem here is that she doesn't say anything funny in our day-to-day.

I know this might be an unfair expectation, but I'm obsessing about it. Part of the appeal of dating a comedian was the lack of pressure to make her laugh, because I figured the pressure would be on her. This has not turned out to be the case...and I'm dealing with that.

It's part of maturity, you know. We can't always get what we want.

Next time, I'll tell you about A's friend, R, a cancer-surviving comedian who performed in the set after hers.


Blogger Cairogal said...

This sounds like an episode of Seinfeld. Correct me if I'm wrong, I think you're expecting her to be witty in conversation, no? I guess I look at comedians as being performers, who just aren't necessarily 'on' when they're off stage. Conversely, people who are witty in conversation don't necessarily make good stage performers. But yes, if she was a porn star, you'd hope she wasn't a total prude and in the case of your comediene girlfriend, you'd hope she could banter with the best of 'em.

12:11 PM  
Blogger Basil Fawlty said...

No, you're absolutely right, I'm expecting conversations peppered with witticism. I understand that they're performers but the noteworthy thing here is that she's never said anything funny EVER. Not one single thing. Not even an attempt at a joke, an aborted joke, a joke that doesn't work or even a joking deadpan glance. I'll take a pun at this point...or a knock-knock joke. Anything.

And she doesn't drink, so I can't seem to loosen her up to the point where she could slur me some comedy.

Seineld dealt with this in two episodes: he was dating a masseuse who only gave him sex (no massages) and a gymnast who didn't do anything out of the ordinary in bed.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Forsoothsayer said...

i was JUST about to say seinfeld. anyway, most female comedians aren't funny, unfortunately, especially to men.
in the seinfeld the gymnast was disappointed b/c he wasnt funny i think...

4:56 PM  
Blogger Basil Fawlty said...

You're right, Sooth, but he was disappointed in her first because she just lay there.

11:07 PM  
Anonymous just a bint said...

puns are fabulous; don't knock 'em. that said . . . this sounds like it's not going anywhere. you're funnier than most people, and therefore have higher standards, but when the woman gets *paid* to be funny . . . no excuses. :(

1:48 AM  
Blogger Cairogal said...

Have you seen her act? Was that funny?

5:18 PM  
Blogger Basil Fawlty said...

It was endearing. She's funny in a confessional/ open-up kind of way and the crowd really LOVED her. She definitely has talent and she's given up a lot to pursue it.

But the relationship is getting curiouser and curiouser: yesterday, she ate a box of crackers with onion dip, a bag of chips, a cobb salad, three diet cokes and half a quart of ice cream. And all she wants to do is watch TV, all the time. Even after we did it, something caught her ear and she sped out of bed to watch it.

I should just buy a trailer and meet her there.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Cairogal said...

"Even after we did it, something caught her ear and she sped out of bed to watch it."

I don't want to be the one to say it...

6:48 PM  
Blogger Basil Fawlty said...

I know, it was brutal! I felt like an audience in Madison Square Garden, that couldn't talk U2 back out for an encore..I should have heckled her, at her show..:)

7:17 PM  

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