El Panico Attacko

10:30 am Absolutely fine.
10:31 am In a meeting, a massive panic attack hits.
10:35am I had to leave. I feel like I'm dying.

My brain's in control, though. I know that it's just a panic attack, even though my heart is going at a hundred miles an hour and I'm perspiring a little bit. I used to be obsessed with the reasons I got these but I don't care anymore. All I care about now are the symptoms and how to make them go away.

Writing this helps, it reminds me I still have a semblance of control. I know I'll be fine within the next two or three hours. As for why all this is happening, it's simple: stress mixed with being naturally fucked up, add a smidgen of self-loathing and a total lack on self-belief and you arrive at one, first-class panic attack.

I'm off for a smoke.